A bit of background… My sister is 10 years younger than me and has always been very independent, so her asking for any kind of help is a rare, but memorable experience. This was an email exchange between us that still cracks me up!
The lengths that women will go to get rid of hair simply astounds me.
Since the weather will presumably get nicer in Boston and since I have
difficulties with my underarm hair, I figured I’d go the waxing route. I
went to my local CVS (a Walgreens of sorts that are on every other block
in Boston) and found what I thought to be the best at-home waxing kit on
the shelf. It seemed simple enough but oh no. It was not. To make a
long, awful story short, the wax ended up all over my body while trying to
apply it to my left armpit. When actually applied and then yanked off,
only a little strip of wax and hair came off. The rest stayed on!! I
couldn’t believe it. It started to kind of dry and I had to keep my arm
up so that my armpit wouldn’t glue itself together. I ran to the bathroom
and tried to furiously scrub it off with my loofah and soap. It worked
somewhat but now there’s some remnants of wax on my favorite loofah.
Damn… Oh, and I spilled half the bottle of wax on my bedroom floor as I
was scrambling around trying to get more paper strip thingys in an attempt
to get the hair and/or wax off. So there was a big pile of purple goo on
my floor that I swore would never come off. Luckily, I have hardwood
floors. So after endless scrubbing and not really getting anywhere, even
after trying to shave off the hair and wax, which was actually kind of
painful, I found the little bottle of oil for after-wax treatment.
Amazingly, that stuff took most of the wax right off, as well as the crud
on my floor. And the oils actually seem to have been good for my hardwood
floor because that section looks really shiny and nice now. (NOT that I’m
saying it was worth all this to buffer my floor.) Anyway, my armpit still
feels slightly sticky-ish and I was wondering if you might now what it
best for after-wax treatments. I don’t want to put lotion or moisturizer
on it because I think that would probably sting. Tomorrow, I’m going to
try to shave the rest of the hair and that will probably be the best for
eliminating the lingering sticky situation. Oy. And all just because I
want to wear sleeveless tops. Life should not be this messy.
Ok LiL SiS~
You really need to put warning labels on email like this… pop coming
through my nose onto my computer screen isn’t attractive at all. You
think your pits burn, imagine my nose hairs. OK.. now onto the serious
stuff my sticky pitted sibling… use mayo…not miracle whip… oh no
miracle whip is NOT a miracle for wax mishaps. Straight ole mayonnaise.
Vegetable Oil will work too. Put it on a paper towel… A LOT of it,
not just a Weight Watchers helping, smear it up really good, it will
take all the excess wax off, take the stickiness away and moisten the
skin from the trauma of yanking the 2 pit hairs that came off. Repeat
the mayo, oil if necessary get the sticky feeling gone, but more than
likely this will take it off right away. Then of course shower to get
the smell off you, but don’t use a loofah or anything to rub the pit
area, put a little soap(non perfumed would be best, unless you like to
scream in pain from the stinging) then pat dry…. what made it sticky
was trying to scrub it off, always pat, and maybe this warning should have come at
an earlier date, but never wax alone, you cant pull your skin taunt
enough for it to pull the hair off. Also, how much did the home stuff
cost? You can go to any body waxing place and get it done for 10 bucks.
I even looked at some of it online in Boston and the most expensive one
was only $15.00 and that was for pits and eyebrows. And you may want to
invest in a new loofah, the wax will never come off of it and can trap
bacteria from the wax big time. Unless you are emotionally attached to
it, I would put it to rest in the trash can (right next to the rest of
the wax I am sure) You will have to let me know how that turned out.
But seriously, I have had my crotch waxed and mayo works wonders.
Your Older & More Experienced Sister
Oh Wise Sibling,
Hey, thanks for the tips. Sadly, I don’t own mayo. After Dad’s food
poisoning bout with it, I’ve used “Nayonaise” which don’t have egg product
and is made with soy instead. And no, it doesn’t have vegetable oil
either. But I think my roomies may have some in the fridge. I’ll
probably throw the loofah away within this week. It’s just so cool
though. It has a duck or something on top of it that is great to hold on
The wax jazz was $8, which seemed like a good deal at the time because I
could have theoretically used it like 20 times. But yes, I know I can get
it professionally done. I think I’ll try that actually. I was just
idealistic and wanted to take charge for myself. Hey, we were all young
and naive once! About waxing down there, how does that work? Is it like
going into a gynecologists office or something? What’s the level of
privacy on that kind of operation??
As for your nose hairs, I’ve got nothin’. Time is the only answer to heal
that pain. I just hope it wasn’t Dr Pepper – that stuff stings.
Thanks again for your elder sibling wisdom. Maybe someday I can supply my
nieces with such tidbits, but it’s very doubtful. I’ll probably still be
Your Sticky-ish Sibling
#WaxOn #WaxOff #SiblingAdvice #HotMess